Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I can read

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Have you ever seen your wife being fucked?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have a reading level above third grade

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

If you lived in South Africa, would you support nuclear power as a solution to the country's energy woes?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Do all therapists specialize in one specific type of therapy, or are they trained in multiple types?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Are there girls here who like group sex?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What do porn stars do when they get old?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t cotton to rapists

Why is watching a man and a woman have sex considered perverted? It's how we all got here, it's what we do, I say if you want to watch porn then carry on!

I actually pay taxes

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Which is the first MV you watched in Stray Kids?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Islam is definitely a very anti-LGBTQ religion, so why don't liberals ever stage pro-LGBTQ demonstrations at mosques or at the consulates/embassies of Muslim countries?

I understand how hurricane paths work

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Why do people stay in cults after they have joined?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I see through liars

What's your favourite porn video to jerk off to?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Does the interpretation of the Book of בראשית create in all generations the Chosen Cohen People יש מאין?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I can count

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.